Amidst

A personal blog that explores in-between places, languages, and states of being

Category: Beautiful Things

清明

我请爷爷一起上山扫墓,爷爷说:“我还去给他们拜哦?我都快要你们来拜了!”我又拿出我的杀手锏:“我明天就走了,你还不陪我去!”他眼睛望着前方,眨巴眨巴,然后慢慢站起身。爷爷是最固执也最容易说服的。 浙江奶奶家扫墓会准备一桌好酒好菜,湖南娭毑家扫墓会准备五颜六色的挂纸,这里叫挂青。普通话中的ing韵在土话中读iong,舌面音q变为t和ch之间的舌尖音, 于是就有了挂tiong。 阴雨绵绵的天气里,漫山遍野的红红绿绿,还挺好看的。 后来才知道这颜色是有讲究的。舅舅在舅爷爷的坟上挂了两条绿挂纸,娭毑吩咐:“给我妈妈挂一条绿的。”舅舅又从舅爷爷坟头取下一条,挂到旁边太外婆的坟上。“男红女绿,”娭毑说。 往年上山扫墓都在山顶松柏舅舅家吃饭,去年他突然去世,如今新房的大门紧闭,屋前的菜地杂草丛生,不禁令人唏嘘。他家门前的小竹凳还在。当年我下乡收集方言数据,请他为我念字,就坐在那张凳子上。他一个字一个字地读了很久,没有半点不耐烦。 今年我们一齐前往山下翠桂阿姨家吃饭。一进门舅舅就说:“翠桂把家里搞得干干净净。”阿姨当年在上海带我时,也把家里搞得干干净净。上次我来看她,她趁我喝茶的功夫偷偷去杀了只鸡,今天她又杀了两只鸡,还往我碗里夹鸡翅。“你小时候最喜欢吃鸡翅了,”她说。我怎么一点也不记得?但我高兴她还记得。 年年上山扫墓,总以为清明是给死人过的节,但其实是给活人过的。活人因为死人走到一起,因为祭奠死而庆祝生。 2021/4/4

Falling

A friend sent the instructions for a home dementia test: have a potential patient draw a clock. If they can’t put the clock hands in the right place, they have mild dementia; if they can’t draw the numbers, they have moderate dementia; if they can’t even draw a round clock, they have severe dementia. My […]

Breathing

His eyes can’t open in the sun. Soon he falls asleep. Asleep and awake aren’t too different–he’s asleep when awake, then abruptly awake from sleep. The white eyebrows hang in the dusty sun. A stream of saliva flows from the corner of the mouth. Without opening his eyes, he wipes it off, and then scratches […]

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